Please CHANGE the Relationship Rhetoric (FFS!)

Having just come back from my brothers (very beautiful, very happy) wedding, I’m caught between two equally legitimate, equally real warring truths; Our aspirations for love, and the reality of life. Of course, as my brothers wedding proves – these can overlap. We can fall in love and marry (if we choose) the person we love and this can be a wonderful and beautiful thing. … Continue reading Please CHANGE the Relationship Rhetoric (FFS!)

Learning is painful. And it takes time.

For almost a whole month I have not written a post. This is a long hiatus – the longest since I began blogging (albeit less than a year ago!). But there is a really good reason for this – I’ve been busy, suddenly with dates and job applications (in my quest to find a co-parent and financial support respectively) for my potential baby (I want a … Continue reading Learning is painful. And it takes time.

My relationship world view; negative or pragmatic?

I realise through my candid discussions with newlover how sad it can be to be confronted with someone else’s ‘new paradigm‘ perspective on romantic relationships, like the one I have. The sadness of what he was saying really hit me the other day when we were talking and I wondered if what I say and the beliefs I explore affect people around me who I … Continue reading My relationship world view; negative or pragmatic?

Don’t assume you know my relationship priorities

I used to fall for people who I really liked & really fancied. Usually I liked them so much partly because they were somehow unavailable, maybe not looking for a relationship like I was – or at least not with me. Then, my heart having been broken by some such man in a life changing ‘I’m never putting myself through that again’ kind of way, … Continue reading Don’t assume you know my relationship priorities

Dating profiles – less is more

Its best to leave your dating profile blurb pretty sparse in my opinion. The fact is people see your pictures and project a fantasy of you onto you which may or may not exist in reality. And why not let them? People hang onto these projected fantasies long after any relationship has begun, until such a point as reality hits in maybe a few months or even … Continue reading Dating profiles – less is more

Non non monogamy

New lovers name should now be changed to oldlover. He wants to get back with his wife. He cant, but that doesn’t affect the impact it has on me of course. I know we weren’t going out together by any stretch but there was at least something pseudo romantic about our engagement. Its a shift for me and its not pleasant. I haven’t had as … Continue reading Non non monogamy

Its packing the clothes that gets me…

I’ve packed lots of other stuff without a second thought – books, papers, CD’s, ornaments… but somehow my clothes seem different. Maybe its because, picking up the first batch of folded clothes on the bed I notice the bag I am about to put them into says ‘TO TAKE’, from when I labelled it for leaving Leeds. Then it hits me – the sadness – … Continue reading Its packing the clothes that gets me…

Bearing witness to my life

I wonder about my writing a blog as being a way for my life to not go unnoticed. Because much of it, being single, I live by myself. Also my romantic encounters now don’t tend to be part of anything wider – my friends, my family etc, they happen largely in isolation. Its almost as if they don’t happen at all. Of course they do, … Continue reading Bearing witness to my life

Me in a Podcast! About… yup, being single!

I’m so excited by this because; a) Its the first time I’ve been invited to participate in and then actually taken part in a podcast! b) The conversation was SO great! It’s a long-un but stick it on while you’re washing up, there’s some really juicy gems of thought-provoking chat in there. Happy listening 🙂 http://youresinglewegetit.podbean.com/ Also, YSWGI is a fantastic resource for singles which … Continue reading Me in a Podcast! About… yup, being single!

Practising Letting Go

This wasn’t supposed to happen but I’ve met someone I like. I was supposed to carry on tindering forever, setting up maybe 2 or 3 lovers with whom I could have uncomplicated, satisfying sex and – well, that’s it. But of course that was a naive thing to assume I could achieve given the vagaries of human emotion & attachment. I have to say I … Continue reading Practising Letting Go