This freedom thing – I want to talk more about it, it’s such an immensely positive thing I don’t think I can put too fine a point on it. And the reason I need to big it up so much is precisely because it isnt bigged up enough in wider society – speaking from my experience of the world and from the experience of those around me, the expectations on them, the “this is how you’re supposed to live your life”s and “this what it looks like to succeed”s.
The problem is this fear that is waved in your face when you dare suggest there might be another way of life, not like this one, that might be a better fit for you. People are so threatened by it – by rocking the status quo. And that’s difficult because as an emerging concept in my own life (this ‘non relationship-bound status’ if you like) is something I want to explore – with my friends and family, without fear or judgement. Some people round me do react well to this but often the ‘fear of dying alone’ paradigm and other bullshit has them firmly in its grip.
I’m not immune to this of course by any stretch – even with an emerging different perspective, still if certain people even so much as give me a wrong look (and usually if Im feeling at all vulnerable), I fill in the blanks. I think; ‘I’m making a mistake – how could I possibly be happy this way? They must be right (read – I must default to the common denominator status – fear. Be afraid, in case it goes wrong you know, and then you’ll be protected from it….). This feeling of excitement may last a few weeks then it will be awful again and I’ll be so lonely. What am I doing??’
But then, how I feel right now is this; excited, alive, at ease with myself. And I know there are others out there like me, and I’m so excited to meet them! Sure there will be lonely and difficult times but also… how exciting?!
So, maybe this is an experiment- can I live a life like this where I feel excited and connected and free and not regret it? Living now as I want and not heeding the warnings that I will be old and lonely. Because you see, somehow I suspect I won’t.
There’s only one way to find out, and my version of life fills me much more with glee and excitement than the alternative.
I hereby give my life over to testing this as a social experiment for the benefit of women and girls everywhere who need other choices more legitimised (alright, I admit it! its for my own benefit…. :)). Choices that don’t trap us chasing after relationships in and of themselves; a pursuit which can cause us pain and possibly abuse of one kind or another. But more than this – even if there isn’t to be any of that bad stuff in store, this anyway would be/is a good legitimate life choice, no matter what messages out there from friends/family/advertising/facebook (ie mainstream society) suggest otherwise about some false ‘ideal’ of relationship status.Follow @singlefemaleblg